I have been pondering the idea of a real blog for the longest time. When I say real blog I do mean a blog in which I can say whatever I want without offending anyone. That can only mean a select few people will be able to handle reading this. And even if I have to narrow that select few down to zero...I'm okay with that. I agree with Emilie when she said this would be a breath of fresh air. I like Emilie, she doesn't expect much from me.
That's something to think about. I feel people just expect to much from each other. It's binding really. Can't we just be who we are? I feel I've spent to much time being a different person for different people. I'm to tired and to old. Or could it be that I'm just grown up now?
To really understand my position on this I'm going to have to dive into my wonderful work enviroment here. I love my work. No, really I do. Lucky for me I'm lucky to work with a select few very cool people. I won't lie here....Emilie is probably my favorite. And I don't say that lightly.
The relationships between my coworkers are maddening at times. I won't lie. Most of them are a bunch of spoiled brats skating through college on their parents money but are still somehow stuck in high school clique mode. Disgusting. Each week there are new alliances and break-ups between friends. I can't keep up. I don't care enough to. When there is not quiet enough drama someone will eventually send out a shitty email to everyone that singles out one person (this is done in a meant to be "discreet" manner which is to say it is as indescreet as possible). Now when this happens one must choose sides asap. If you don't choose sides then you will be deleted or not added as someone's friend on facebook just to show you that the clique will always prevail. Again, I stopped caring.
While I won't say that I've never been caught up in that drama I will say that I am a drama free girl these days. And that's why I like Emilie. It is, in fact, hard to believe she is a girl. Though I've not seen it personally I am pretty sure she is equipped with a vagina. One wouldn't be able to tell though because drama won't associate with that girl. But this isn't the coolest thing about her. Perhaps the most enlightning thing about her is that she can work with the drama queens peacefully without feeding into their drama. I didn't think it could be done! And so she has won my respect.
I usually am not bothered if someone doesn't like me. Actually it's a relief...then they don't expect so much from me; you know conversation etc. But I have this chip in me that makes it painful for me to know that I've hurt someone elses feelings by not liking them. I tried to remove the chip by just saying whatever I felt whenever I felt like it. That removal (which didn't work) left a lot of scars. I won't try again...but a not so public blog couldn't hurt, right?
Let me urge you to just let people be who they are; even if it makes them annoying to you. Just don't foster a relationship with them if it makes you ill to be around them. But do find a few people you can appreciate and celebrate what they bring to your life. Take that and hold onto it for all it's worth to you.
I don't know what I think about friendships. I'm a loner where my free time is concerned. I appreciate it to much to crowd it with people and obligations to those people. But I do think you should appreciate the good people. The one's who let you be you and encourage your individualality with a force that is a bitch to be reckoned with.
That's something to think about. I feel people just expect to much from each other. It's binding really. Can't we just be who we are? I feel I've spent to much time being a different person for different people. I'm to tired and to old. Or could it be that I'm just grown up now?
To really understand my position on this I'm going to have to dive into my wonderful work enviroment here. I love my work. No, really I do. Lucky for me I'm lucky to work with a select few very cool people. I won't lie here....Emilie is probably my favorite. And I don't say that lightly.
The relationships between my coworkers are maddening at times. I won't lie. Most of them are a bunch of spoiled brats skating through college on their parents money but are still somehow stuck in high school clique mode. Disgusting. Each week there are new alliances and break-ups between friends. I can't keep up. I don't care enough to. When there is not quiet enough drama someone will eventually send out a shitty email to everyone that singles out one person (this is done in a meant to be "discreet" manner which is to say it is as indescreet as possible). Now when this happens one must choose sides asap. If you don't choose sides then you will be deleted or not added as someone's friend on facebook just to show you that the clique will always prevail. Again, I stopped caring.
While I won't say that I've never been caught up in that drama I will say that I am a drama free girl these days. And that's why I like Emilie. It is, in fact, hard to believe she is a girl. Though I've not seen it personally I am pretty sure she is equipped with a vagina. One wouldn't be able to tell though because drama won't associate with that girl. But this isn't the coolest thing about her. Perhaps the most enlightning thing about her is that she can work with the drama queens peacefully without feeding into their drama. I didn't think it could be done! And so she has won my respect.
I usually am not bothered if someone doesn't like me. Actually it's a relief...then they don't expect so much from me; you know conversation etc. But I have this chip in me that makes it painful for me to know that I've hurt someone elses feelings by not liking them. I tried to remove the chip by just saying whatever I felt whenever I felt like it. That removal (which didn't work) left a lot of scars. I won't try again...but a not so public blog couldn't hurt, right?
Let me urge you to just let people be who they are; even if it makes them annoying to you. Just don't foster a relationship with them if it makes you ill to be around them. But do find a few people you can appreciate and celebrate what they bring to your life. Take that and hold onto it for all it's worth to you.
I don't know what I think about friendships. I'm a loner where my free time is concerned. I appreciate it to much to crowd it with people and obligations to those people. But I do think you should appreciate the good people. The one's who let you be you and encourage your individualality with a force that is a bitch to be reckoned with.
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1 comment:
I love this blog...don't you love knowing that no one you don't like will be reading this?! It's really liberating for me. Write your little heart out! I've just started typing out a story about a woman who works in a mental health facility...I don't know where all these creative juices are coming from?
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