Oh this blog. I see where it's headed. I am powerless over it's current road. You don't have to tell me. I know that there is a lot more inside of me than pent up anger resulting from work. Just let me sift through the anger people. I'm sure there is something worthwhile underneath.
I'm a pretty ignorant person. I really am. There is so much that I can learn that I haven't and there is so much I need to learn about. Hell, I can't even speak a complete sentence out loud without sounding dumb and mixing everything up. And when it comes down to writing I don't do it that well either. So before I go on and start sounding like a judgemental asshole I just wanted to point that out. I know I'm an asshole. I know I'm judgemental. But it's not going to stop me from complaining about dumb coworkers. Shit, I'm writing to an audience of one here and she doesn't mind so why not?
It's been a rough couple days at work kids. It will be that way until after next week. I'm dealing the best I can which would be impossible without Emilie. Even my boss is starting to feel it. You know something bad is going on when your boss starts the bitch session for the day and buys you a cookie afterwards. Mmmm...cookies.
We survive. What choice is there? As far as my shift goes we are all fucked. That would be all three of us. That's three people doing the job that it normally takes six people to do. That's counting the nurse we haven't had for ages though. We make it work though. One may be suprised to hear that we make it work without bribing the clients to be good and do what they are supposed to do.
I was pretty proud of that. When our crisis staffing situation started Emilie and I talked to all the clients and told them what was going down and how it would all be played out. We made sure they knew that unlike techs of the past there would be no bribing or laziness involved on our part. They would be expected to do what they needed to do to participate in their treatment and for that we would work our asses off to make sure we are providing them with what they need while maintaining high levels of respect on both sides. It's not unrealistic. It's actually worked okay.
Well, that is if you don't count the client who's really sick and has been refusing meds. But we've been there before. We agreed that he would not recieve extra's until he started self medicating again. It's not an easy conclusion. It means we've been through a couple days of name calling and mild threats because he's not getting what he demands. But we decided to stick to the plan. This morning he took his meds so he was able to start receiving coffee again. It's a small step.
Then evening shift comes in toting gifs to bribe him into doing what they want him to. I'm not trying to be an ass here but doesn't that totally undo every fucking thing we were trying to accomplish. God damn morons. That's right, I said it. And no I don't fucking feel bad about it.
Then I hear that they spent all last night trying to bribe him with extra food to get him to do stuff. We've been here before. There was a group of boys that gave him whatever he wanted. When we don't do that he eventually becomes violent on our shift. I know. Emilie and I have dodged the plates he decided to throw when his demands didn't pan out.
I remember those evening shift morons saying that it was always the boys giving him what he wanted and they would never do that. Now the fuckers are dazzling us during passdown with tales of all the things they have been trying to bribe him with.
I won't lie. I'm pretty close to being okay with telling them off. Why didn't I just do that today? And where do we find these people at? I'm starting to think that human resources scans the mall offering applications to all the little college kiddies who just can't stop spending their dads money and desperately need their own cash flow just so they can say "I have a job".
Are you fucking kidding me? Someone, anyone yell "PSYCH" right now and tell me this has all been a joke. Tell me that I'm not leaving my precious clients fate in the hands of a bunch of attention seeking idiots each day at three pm.
And tell me why in the fuck do the dumb ones always seem to outnumber me? How can there be that big of a group of morons in one work place? And how in the fuck do they all manage to be working the same shift together?
I'm pretty sure my anger is valid. Maybe not. In any case it feels better to get it out. Let's move on. When I finally wash my hands of someone's ignorance and decide I'm not going to let it affect me anymore I celebrate by writing a short poem about them. I shall now share a few of them with my loyal reader. This Emilie, is for you.
I'm a pretty ignorant person. I really am. There is so much that I can learn that I haven't and there is so much I need to learn about. Hell, I can't even speak a complete sentence out loud without sounding dumb and mixing everything up. And when it comes down to writing I don't do it that well either. So before I go on and start sounding like a judgemental asshole I just wanted to point that out. I know I'm an asshole. I know I'm judgemental. But it's not going to stop me from complaining about dumb coworkers. Shit, I'm writing to an audience of one here and she doesn't mind so why not?
It's been a rough couple days at work kids. It will be that way until after next week. I'm dealing the best I can which would be impossible without Emilie. Even my boss is starting to feel it. You know something bad is going on when your boss starts the bitch session for the day and buys you a cookie afterwards. Mmmm...cookies.
We survive. What choice is there? As far as my shift goes we are all fucked. That would be all three of us. That's three people doing the job that it normally takes six people to do. That's counting the nurse we haven't had for ages though. We make it work though. One may be suprised to hear that we make it work without bribing the clients to be good and do what they are supposed to do.
I was pretty proud of that. When our crisis staffing situation started Emilie and I talked to all the clients and told them what was going down and how it would all be played out. We made sure they knew that unlike techs of the past there would be no bribing or laziness involved on our part. They would be expected to do what they needed to do to participate in their treatment and for that we would work our asses off to make sure we are providing them with what they need while maintaining high levels of respect on both sides. It's not unrealistic. It's actually worked okay.
Well, that is if you don't count the client who's really sick and has been refusing meds. But we've been there before. We agreed that he would not recieve extra's until he started self medicating again. It's not an easy conclusion. It means we've been through a couple days of name calling and mild threats because he's not getting what he demands. But we decided to stick to the plan. This morning he took his meds so he was able to start receiving coffee again. It's a small step.
Then evening shift comes in toting gifs to bribe him into doing what they want him to. I'm not trying to be an ass here but doesn't that totally undo every fucking thing we were trying to accomplish. God damn morons. That's right, I said it. And no I don't fucking feel bad about it.
Then I hear that they spent all last night trying to bribe him with extra food to get him to do stuff. We've been here before. There was a group of boys that gave him whatever he wanted. When we don't do that he eventually becomes violent on our shift. I know. Emilie and I have dodged the plates he decided to throw when his demands didn't pan out.
I remember those evening shift morons saying that it was always the boys giving him what he wanted and they would never do that. Now the fuckers are dazzling us during passdown with tales of all the things they have been trying to bribe him with.
I won't lie. I'm pretty close to being okay with telling them off. Why didn't I just do that today? And where do we find these people at? I'm starting to think that human resources scans the mall offering applications to all the little college kiddies who just can't stop spending their dads money and desperately need their own cash flow just so they can say "I have a job".
Are you fucking kidding me? Someone, anyone yell "PSYCH" right now and tell me this has all been a joke. Tell me that I'm not leaving my precious clients fate in the hands of a bunch of attention seeking idiots each day at three pm.
And tell me why in the fuck do the dumb ones always seem to outnumber me? How can there be that big of a group of morons in one work place? And how in the fuck do they all manage to be working the same shift together?
I'm pretty sure my anger is valid. Maybe not. In any case it feels better to get it out. Let's move on. When I finally wash my hands of someone's ignorance and decide I'm not going to let it affect me anymore I celebrate by writing a short poem about them. I shall now share a few of them with my loyal reader. This Emilie, is for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
S.G
Fancy words don't make you cool.
Snide comments make you the fool.
Your insecurities put me at ease.
Are you really going to stop talking?
Oh please don't tease!
You bitch about everything you see.
Life really isn't as bad as you make it out to be.
Get up, grow up, move on with your life.
Laugh a little don't take everything in strife.
Here's an idea how about trying to be a little nice?
Oh wait, that's right, you don't want my advice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M.A.T
I see you queen bee.
Waiting for your pollin gossip at the top of the tree.
Your workers march on giving you everything you want.
Behind your back they call you a silly cunt.
You rule your sheltered world watching everyone below.
Did you ever dream you could be so low?
Don't worry little one I'll just set back and see,
The look of frustration on your face because you know you can't affect me.
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If none of those initials resemble yours than you can rest assure that I probably think a few nice things about you. As we all know. My opinion is of the upmost importance.
I do tend to write. Not a lot of people know that. I fear though most of my attempts at "poetry" only make sense to me. So I only share the silly little diddies. My other stuff is just thoughts in the forms of attempted poetry that survived some of the darker times in my life.
What's that? Now you can't sleep without hearing more? I'll tell you though I wasn't always the pleasant ball of sunshine that you know today. I'll leave you with one more. This one is from a dark time in my life. It's hard to believe that I ever thought that way but that was before I met my hero. I don't think I was every really alive before I met Mike. I seem to have grown up a lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suicide
I can't take the shit that's weighing me down.
A few more days and you will read about how I drowned.
No one know's what's going on.
Move me around, I'm your can't lose pawn.
Don't think I'll do it?
It's in my head it won't go away.
I just took a wrong turn, I think I'll kill myself today.
It doesn't matter you can pretend you really knew me once I'm gone.
Wasn't she sweet?
Let's let her memory live on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That one kind of makes me laugh now. No kiddies, suicide is not funny. But making it to the point where you can look at those empty threats and laugh your ass off at your insanity is slightly refreshing and something to be celebrated. I'm adding a point to my self esteem stockpile for being a person with some depth.
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1 comment:
I laughed through that WHOLE blog. Not at you, but because I was there. And I was writing a blog at the same time as you hahahaha. I can laugh now though, I couldn't at 3:00. HCI should offer a "How to deal with mentally ill people" course. For real.
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